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October 22, 2004

Caption Contest Winners

I know I've been remiss on the Caption Contests, so here are this week's winners:

Candidates_1
Friday Challenge:

1st place: Liberal Larry

"What you said about Dick's little girl...you were joking, right?"

2nd place: KJ

Not bad, John. Those silly X-games you do keep you in decent shape. But I do 500 sit ups per day while hanging upside down. Feel my abs - I could wash your shirt on them.

3rd place: Freeven

Want some wood?

Poodel_1
Caption 2:

1st place: Freeven

John Kerry's French poodle, "Nuance."

2nd place: Don Brouhaha

Whoa! Where did you say those stem cells came from?

3rd place: KJ

In an effort to overcome the bad press caused by the lack of WMD in Iraq, the CIA has stepped up its undercover efforts to infiltrate terror cells in France.

Hoover_1
Your Pre-Debate Captions

1st place: Masked Menace

Trying to capitalize on tonight's debate format, domestic policy *cough*socialistic government giveaways*cough*, Kerry's handlers run one last test of his debate strategy: sucking the air out of the room.

2nd place: spd rdr

Bob was no stranger to dirty jobs, but vacuuming up exploded brains after each Kerry speech was starting to rattle him.

3rd place: William Teach

Spray painting the word "plan" onto Kerry's lecturn, just to make sure he doesn't forget to mention it.

Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks for your patience.

- Cassandra

October 22, 2004 at 04:34 PM | Permalink

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Comments

Freeven is the man, with a win and a place.

KJ, however, after harping on the judge of the last contest, proves once again that the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Posted by: KJ at Oct 22, 2004 5:46:11 PM

Well the judges are different every time up, so it doesn't do you much good.

I'm usually in the room, but not always :)

Posted by: Cass at Oct 22, 2004 5:50:21 PM

I am embarrassed. Freeven had a win and show. I had a place and a show.

And Seabiscuit couldn't hold Secretariet's jock. If he had worn one.

Posted by: KJ at Oct 22, 2004 5:52:14 PM

So, when do I get the women :©). Or booze, I really need booze.

Posted by: Masked Menace at Oct 22, 2004 5:53:23 PM

Congratulations to all the winners. You have handed me a complete shutout. Props.

Want some wood? I don't get it?

Posted by: Pile On® at Oct 22, 2004 5:53:40 PM

Menace, just try to act indifferent like you don't really care if they show up or not, and they will flock to you. Patience.

Posted by: Pile On® at Oct 22, 2004 5:56:13 PM

Menace,

Pile On's advise only applies to women. For booze, you must go after it and must not act indifferent.

Going home. Later friends.

Posted by: KJ at Oct 22, 2004 6:04:51 PM

It's called a taunt, Pile. Pithy... (ooh, get it? wood...pithy... dang, I'm clever)

Menace won't have any problem with women - he's smart and he doesn't talk to much. Smart women find that very attractive.

Posted by: Cass at Oct 22, 2004 6:06:46 PM

AAARGH! TOO much. I hate this keyboard.

Posted by: Cass at Oct 22, 2004 6:07:19 PM

Oh, a taunt...I like it. My mind was in the gutter, and I didn't think it was very funny.

Menace, KJ is right about the booze, you need to seek out large quantities, and drugs too, it is a package deal. Enjoy the ride. We'll be here when you hit rock bottom and start your comeback.

Posted by: Pile On® at Oct 22, 2004 6:14:46 PM

It is starting to sink in that I got shut out. Could this be the first October surprise that I have been expecting? This could rock the nation. What is next, we capture Bin Laden? We find out Bush failed to return a movie to Blockbuster in 1983, racking up thousands of dollars in late fees?

I don't know, but keep your eyes open.

Posted by: Pile On® at Oct 22, 2004 6:26:59 PM

Congrats to all the winners - I have to attend a caption contest seminar and try to do better next time.

Posted by: bahabuddha™ at Oct 22, 2004 6:35:06 PM

You came very close with one of yours, baha. So did Pile with two of his, and Cricket.

There were a lot of squeakers this time around - it didn't seem very clear-cut, at least to me. I wasn't there for one of them.

Posted by: Cass at Oct 22, 2004 6:37:53 PM

Congrats to all.

Posted by: purple raider at Oct 22, 2004 8:12:23 PM

Hey! I spelled "vacuuming" right!
Whoo hoo!

Posted by: spd rdr at Oct 22, 2004 10:01:08 PM

I think that this caption shut out has been seared, SEARED, into Pile On's psyche.

Geez, I placed on one caption and I put zero effort into it (the check's in the mail, Cass).
Pile, this baseball thing and fathering thing has sapped your Mojo.
Hey, aren't Liberal Larry and Freeven professionals, since they've got their own blogs?
I think I smell something here, and it's rotten cheese from Denmark, or something like that.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at Oct 22, 2004 11:37:36 PM

Congratulations to all the winners.

Posted by: Cricket at Oct 22, 2004 11:55:04 PM

For clarification, "want some wood" is a reference to an exchange that took place during the second debate. Kerry said that Bush would qualify as a "small business" because he received $84 income from a timber company. This caught Bush totally by surprise and he said "I own a timber company?" After a pause and some audience laughter, Bush turned to the moderator (Leher) and said, "Want some wood?" This was followed by more laughter.

The explanation is that the company in question was actually an oil and gas company. Subsequent to Bush's involvement, the company made an investment in a timber project. Factcheck.org inadvertently reported that Bush owned part of a timber company. Kerry was relying on Factcheck, which was wrong, so that accounts for the confusion. Factcheck has since corrected the record.

Of course, after explaining all that the line loses any humor whatsoever, but it was a funny exchange in the debate, plus the line is very provocative in other ways.

Man, it's awful having to explain jokes. LOL

I think I'm going to go back to keeping my mouth shut. :)

Posted by: Freeven at Oct 23, 2004 12:07:39 PM

Well, thanks for the explanation Freeven, and for making me feel like an uninformed dolt. I saw that exchange, saw Bush's suprise to find out he owned a timber company, but the want some wood must have been pretty quiet.

Keep you mouth shut if you want, just keep tappin on the keyboard.

Posted by: Pile On® at Oct 23, 2004 12:17:39 PM

FWIW, I laughed out loud when I read that caption...

...and then I estopped after a while.

Posted by: EstoppelsRUs at Oct 23, 2004 12:50:55 PM

Pile On's problem is that his mind was in the gutter on that one Freeven.

Posted by: EstoppelsRUs at Oct 23, 2004 12:51:48 PM

Hi everybody!

I just thought that you might like to know that I'll be half-live blogging the first game of the World Series tonight! And I'll be wearing nothing but a Boston hat, red socks, and a smile while perched high atop a pile of empty Sam Adams bottles.

Of course, this latter activity might be somewhat happered by the pre-emptive actions of a certain mrs. rdr, who, in all honesty, lacks what I consider to be the appropriate level of enthusiasm as regards such historic and life-changing events as the Red Sox KILLING THE *&&^%$#@** CURSE (not that I actually believe in such a thing).

How about a little RESPECT here, wifey.
Get me a beer!

Irrespective of mrs. rdr's harmless threats to throw all of my belongings out on the front lawn, look for me to begin highjacking threads hither and yon this evening... unless I don't feel like it. In which case, ENJOY THE GAME!!!!!!!

Posted by: spd rdr at Oct 23, 2004 5:29:40 PM

I eagerly look forward to the half-live blogging if you feel like it. I may chime in if'n I feel like it. If I don't I won't. I am making a kettle of Texas chilli and have some Arogant Bastard ale chilled and ready to go. Watch out for them manufactured runs spd.

And there are times when the wife should be humored, and times when a man has to put his foot down. When your team is in the World Series it would be the latter.

Posted by: Pile On® at Oct 23, 2004 5:54:09 PM

I'm soon to have Chinese carry-out and cold beer.

Best of luck to the Red Sox (they'll need it). I do have a thought though. When you have a great offensive team in the National League, what do you do when you get to use Designate Hitter?
The Cards have few defensive weaknesses to cover up, so what do you add when you get to use the DH?
I'm guessing.....speed! Especially against a knuckleball pitcher like Wakefield. Look for the Cards to run against Wakefield.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at Oct 23, 2004 6:15:25 PM

Yeah, Freeven.

I though it was funnier when I had no idea what you were talking about. At least then I thought it might be some type of inuendo.;-)

Posted by: KJ at Oct 24, 2004 7:17:25 PM