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April 23, 2004

It's All About Boobs, Stupid...

Damn! Now they tell me... Here I've been cranking out posts about Kerry, the War on Terror, racial profiling, and outsourcing and it turns out that what you people really want to hear about is my breasts. Plus it wouldn't hurt if I were a few years younger and posted a hot picture of myself on the front page of the blog...maybe with cleavage or a short skirt. I'm sure that would go over big with The Unit...

Marriage Counselor: "So, when did you two start having these arguments?"

The Unit: "She...she took pictures of her...her breasts and posted them on the Internet. I mean, a man can only stand for so much!

Cassandra, Blog Princess: "Well I was just trying to get to be a Large Mammary...err...Mammal in the Ecosystem".

What the heck am I talking about? I've been sort of following (on and off, when I'm not villifying the Windows XP network connection wizard) a minor blogwar touched off by John Hawkins. Apparently one of his posts featured some minor oinkery that offended - rightly or wrongly, you decide - several female bloggers. I rather thought Baldilocks had the right take on the matter, although I can understand some of the points raised by other bloggers. James at Outside the Beltway adds his thoughts. Little Miss Attila summarizes the whole kerfuffle nicely, adding her own brand of common sense.

I have a hard time believing that men can't think beyond the visual - it's icing on the cake: that extra little fillip that adds interest, but isn't compelling in the absence of some substance. Breasts or no breasts, I haven't noticed scores of men swooning with desire as I walk by of late. If they did, I'd probably be flattered. I happen to like men and if they find me attractive, great. If they respect my mind as well, we may have the beginnings of mutual regard. But I can't see male bloggers reading or linking to complete dreck just because a pretty face appears on the front page.

On the other hand, maybe I've been too closed-minded in my topic selection?

Tomorrow's Post Roster:

Cassandra's Breasts: A Photographic Essay
Short Skirts: How Short is Too Short?
Conservative Female Bloggers: A Survey of their Sexual Habits and Wild Fantasy Lives

- Cassandra

April 23, 2004 at 03:33 PM | Permalink


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Tracked on Apr 29, 2004 10:32:49 AM


You've been married to a Marine for a bazillion years and you are JUST NOW figuring this out?

Sheesh! Everybody knows that a way to a man's heart, wallet, and attention span is through boobs! Any kind of boobs! Of the female humanoid kind of course.

Unless of course you've got a big screen TV and a remote!

Or beer!

Posted by: JarheadDad at Apr 23, 2004 4:03:18 PM

Actually the Unit is not completely obsessed with breasts, although he is properly appreciative - he is more of a leg/rear end man which is probably fortunate given my particular genetic makeup.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 4:08:33 PM

WHAT a tempest in a teapot! A tiny little cyberstorm. She got upset over that? Please.

On to other things.

Posted by: Cricket at Apr 23, 2004 4:39:23 PM

If you post those pictures, I will look, no doubt. But for what its worth I would like to leave your rack to my vivid imagination. I like JarHeadDad's suggestion, why don't you post a picture of a beer?

Posted by: Pile On® at Apr 23, 2004 4:41:31 PM

RACK? RACK??? What do we call male appendages? Never mind, I don't wanna know.

Posted by: Cricket at Apr 23, 2004 4:42:21 PM

Don't get me started Cricket... I could go on all day. In junior high, a friend and I once made a list - I think we stopped after 3 pages.

Mr. On, as much of my "rack", you so delicately refer to it, as is appropriate for public consumption can already be seen on this blog, so I see no need to place myself on display. Some kinds of traffic we can do without.

Putting a picture up in the first place was a huge thing for me - I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been scared to death, my guiding principle being that if something terrifies me and it's not illegal or dangerous than it's probably something I ought to entertain doing. Besides Joat said I should and I always listen to him because he's smarter than I am.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 4:58:28 PM

Hi, I found my way here via Baldilocks. Great looking blog!

Yes, if you want to see your hit counter skyrocket, boobs are definitely the way to go. Once several months ago I casually used the t-word and I'm still getting two or three Google referrals a day off of that one. Funny thing is, I was talking about Britney Spears t__s but everybody seems to be looking for Charlotte Church's t__s instead.

Posted by: Lynn S at Apr 23, 2004 5:25:02 PM

Are you serious??? What a hoot. Somehow I can't see anyone seriously wanting to discuss my boobs...I don't even want to discuss my boobs...

I was really just kidding - the whole idea of the boobs thing just completely cracked me up. Now I have to grow my hair long and try to be sexy...drat.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 5:26:24 PM

Now that you bring it up, that opens up a whole new sleazy world of possibilities... maybe I could just put "Britney Spears t__s" in the keywords...

Yeah...that's the ticket...

Too funny.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 5:29:46 PM

Holy smokes!
What in name of Larry Flynt has been going on around here all afternoon? Boobs, boobs, boobs. Cass is talking about boobs. Cricket's talking about boobs. Jarheaddad's talking about boobs. And Pile On's talking about beer.

Hmmmm.... beer......

Posted by: spd rdr at Apr 23, 2004 5:41:36 PM

Oh for heaven's sake...

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 5:49:07 PM

"Minor oinkery" ='s best turn of phrase I've seen this year =D And by the way, you're doing some really good work on this blog. I'm reading you every day now...

Posted by: John Hawkins at Apr 23, 2004 7:25:29 PM

I forgot about this earlier. I guess you've never heard of Bloggers With Boobies?

Posted by: Lynn S at Apr 23, 2004 7:27:58 PM

That link is rated PG, in case you were worried.

Posted by: Lynn S at Apr 23, 2004 7:33:02 PM

Wow :) thanks, John. I was getting a bit discouraged, so that means a lot. I still don't really know what the heck I'm doing.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 7:33:20 PM

Oh that is so funny Lynn... I'm a bit of an old fart - I may have to think about it... oh what the heck I've had 1 1/2 beers - count me in. I'll send her an email.

Thanks for the link and I want to check out your blog but I'm trying to get a migraine right now so I'm concentrating on having a few beers after work (I start at 7 am).

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 7:40:16 PM

Three pages? I wonder if you, me, the Kitty Cat, Mathmom and Ms Rightwing could add unto that. Girls night out in the blogosphere.

Movies to watch and scream with laughter over:

"Outrageous Fortune" (uncut. It is funnier)
Okay. That is the only chick movie I can think of...jump in at any time with suggestions.

Posted by: Cricket at Apr 23, 2004 7:45:21 PM


Sometime we ladies need to have a virtual slumber party. We should invite some of the other women in the blogosphere and really dish - what a hoot!

I should call a few of my old friends - my best friend in the Marine Corps doesn't even know I'm blogging. She's a riot - she's married her husband when he was a PFC and now he's a Colonel. Her son is over in Iraq now for the 2nd time - I need to call her this weekend. I'm going to see her when I go home in a few weeks.

My son Jeff graduates from college on my birthday and we're going to do a big crab and beerfest over at Edgewater - I am so psyched. A friend of the family is lending us her house so we can just hang out and let people drop by.

I miss everyone so much - my oldest son and his wife are coming by - I haven't seen him since Chiristmas, but I just bought her a hot little sundress when she was out here and she looks like a million bucks in it. I'm so proud of her.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 8:00:00 PM

I need to email Cat - I have an email started to you too - I know I owe you. I keep bailing because I've been so busy.

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 8:02:38 PM

If you ladies need a Prominent Medical Doctor to attend your virtual slumber party. I would be happy to make a virtual house call. I have the cutest Medical Insignia PJ's with attached bunny feet that you have ever seen.I hardly ever get the chance to wear them in public. Of course, I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea. I am speaking as a medical Doctor who has been told he looks like Adrian Paul with impressive medical credentials.

Posted by: Dr. Harden Stuhl at Apr 23, 2004 9:14:26 PM


The bunny feet have clinched it - you're in like Flynn :) Of course the fact that you look like Adrian Paul won't hurt with Cat (I, of course, remain unswayed by such shallow considerations...but wait - some have maintained I'm a Shallow Liberal anyway so what the heck).

Posted by: Cassandra at Apr 23, 2004 9:31:34 PM

Hey wait just a goldarn minute! I'll see the good Doctor's bunny pajamas and raise you a... a...

Never mind.

Posted by: spd rdr at Apr 23, 2004 9:58:42 PM

Hey, that makes two of us. I'm a bit of an old fart myself. I thought the Bloggers With Boobies thing was funny but I didn't join. I might be just wee bit of a prude too but I like to think I have a sense of humor. :-)

Posted by: Lynn S at Apr 23, 2004 9:58:48 PM

Did I say Adrian Paul? I meant Sean Connery. people get the three of us mixed up all the time.

Posted by: Dr. Harden Stuhl at Apr 23, 2004 10:14:06 PM

Yeah, Doc. And I get the three of me mixed-up all the time. It's tough to be loved.

Posted by: spd rdr at Apr 23, 2004 10:31:40 PM