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July 24, 2005

German Aviation Terminology

This is the funniest thing I`ve read in a long while.

It`s a perfect example of the German penchant to see just how difficult they can make a simple word or phrase become.

Why use 4 or 5 letters for a word when you can describe it in 25 letters or more?

German Aviation Terminology

AIRCRAFT---Der Fliegenwagen

JET TRANSPORT---Der Muchen Overgrössen Biggenmother Das ist fliegen Highenfaster mit all der Mach Und Flightenlevels. (Built by Boeing)

PROPELLER---Der Airfloggen Pushenthruster

ENGINE---Der Noisenmaken Pistonpusher Das Turnens Der Airflöggenfan Pushenthruster

JET ENGINE---Der Schreemen Skullschplitten Firespitten Smokenmaken Airpushenbacken Thrustermaker mit Compressorsqueezen und Turbinespinnen Bladenrotors. (Made by Pratt & Whitney)

CONTROL COLUMN---Der Pushenpullen Bankenyanken Schtick

RUDDER PEDALS---Der Tailschwingen Yawmakenwerks

PILOT---Der Pushenpullen Bankenyanken Tailschwingen Werker

PASSENGER---Der Dummkopf das est Strappened en der Baacken mit der other Dummkopfs das est Expecten to leave undgo on Scheduledtimen und Arriven mit der Luggagebags Somplaceneisen

STUDENT PILOT---Der Dummkopf dass Learnen Fliegen und Hopen to Jobenfinden mit der Airlinens

FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR---Der Timenbuilder mit less den 1000 Hrs Multienginefliegen. Teachen Dummkopfs to Fliegen vile Waitenwatchen für der Letter mit der Joböffering von United

AIRLINE TRANSPORT PILOT---Das Grosse Overpaiden und Underwerken Whinencomplainer Biggen Schmuck dat Fliegen mit das Big Airlinen

PARACHUTE---Der Stringencotten das ist usen to Floaten der Tailschwingen Pushenpullen Bankenyanken Werker down to Earthen ven der Fliegenwagen ist Kaputen

FAA---Der Friggenfliegen Dummkopf Schmucks das Maken Alder Rülens und Regulations

HELICOPTER --- Der Flingen Wingen Maschinen mit der Floppen Bladens dot ist Fliegen by der Dummkopfs vas ist too Stupiden für Knowen des Maschinens ist not Safen für Fliegen.

- Joatmoaf -

July 24, 2005 at 02:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBack

July 11, 2005

.50 Cal. Sniper Shots

Have you ever wondered how effective a .50 caliber rifle can be in the hands of an experienced sniper?

See for yourself.

[Hint: Those aren`t rocks flying from the bullets impact.]

- Joatmoaf -

July 11, 2005 at 08:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (297) | TrackBack

July 08, 2005

July Gullywasher A/K/A Dennis

Hurricanes Blow and while I used to be impressed by them, I`m starting to get a little annoyed.

Don`t get me wrong, I appreciate their importance in the ecological scheme of things.
They are the air purifier, water purifier and all around cleaning lady of big 'ol Mother Gia (I hate that un-washed hippy term for Earth), but enough is enough!

In July, JULY! even, we have a Cat 4 monster bearing down on us. This is only the second Hurricane ever in July since they started recording them. (A long time ago. Do a Google search of its that important.)

Normally at the base S.O.P. for Hurricane prep has been, have everyone on Standby, wait until it`s almost pounding Cuba, then at the very last minute, when they are sure it`s coming our way, have everyone franticly secure the base.

Usually that means sitting around all day doing nothing (which drives me nuts). Then at 1600, getting the word that everything needs to be shuttered and boarded up before we can go home.
Never mind that we had been sitting around all day doing nothing, not even our normal, everyday work.
Never mind that no one had allowed us to even get the material ready, just in case.
That`s what "Standby" means...Stand By...Wait.

That usually means that by the time we were done at work we didn`t really have much time to do anything at home because the Hurricane was almost upon us.
In my case, I don`t have much to do as far as the home is concerned.
I have clamshell shutters which take about 10 minutes to secure and I`ve fixed the fence and gates that Hurricane Francis broke but I do have to get other things prepared in case I need to bug out, things that take time.

So you can understand why the S.O.P. for Hurricane prep at the base got our tempers flared up.
That is, until now.

This time they got the materials ready on Tuesday... just in case.
People started boarding up on Wednesday and they were done yesterday.
I was shocked! It was so un-typical, so well organized and made so much sense to me that I can`t help but wonder who finally got a clue.

Maybe it`s the fact that Dennis is a monster already and they don`t want to take any chances.
In any event, I have everything pretty much buttoned up at home. I`m also about as prepared as I could be in case I need to get out fast.

So far it has seemed like Dennis had Key West pretty much in his crosshairs.
I`ve been through a few of these so I know that a Hurricanes path is pretty fickle. I`ll wait until I`m absolutely sure it`s going to hit, otherwise I`ll ride it out.

- Joatmoaf -

July 8, 2005 at 03:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack