Things I've Learned

Well, this is something of a departure for me. I stumbled on this post from Right Thinking Girl via ASV .  After laughing at several bizarre mental images that unfortunately popped into my warped and twisted brain, I came up with an actual serious list.  This seemed an attractive option since my spousal unit is enroute to soCal and the alternative was a thrilling evening of manipulating software data, which tends to leave me feeling vaguely unsatisfied. 

And now I'm asking myself why in God's name I did this... Certainly not because I think there's any one "right" way To Be A Happy Woman.  I think that's the point.

I just started thinking about things I've learned over the years.  I don't expect they'd be the same for everyone - in fact, they may make no sense at all to anyone but me.  But being of a somewhat introspective (that's self-absorbed, for you sports fans at home) nature, I thought I'd give "personal blogging" a whirl.  Also I'm aware that I lack a certain je ne sais quois (a fancy french term meaning 'what the heck is she blathering on about now?'), so I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side, which ought to be scary. Or just an incredible snoozefest.

Anyway, I'm not even going to call it How To Be A Happy Woman.  I'm just going to call it Things I've Learned:

1. Once in a while, get up early and watch the sun rise all by yourself.

2. Learn to savor chocolates slooowly.  They last longer that way.

3. By all means fall madly, passionately in love. But leave some space between you – a little mystery keeps things exciting.

4. Trust your instincts. The best way to escape a bad relationship is not to go there in the first place. 

5.  Love him the way he is now, or walk away.  He *will* change after you’re married, but not in the way you think.  And certainly not to suit your personal whims.

6. Thongs are ridiculous and uncomfortable. Unless you like them, find something else that makes you feel sexy.  Trust me – he will like it.

7. Try to learn one new thing every day.

8. Yoga does help relieve stress: there’s a reason it’s been around for so many years.  But if it doesn’t help, go out and fire a gun. Or have sex. Or take a long drive on a country road.  Or rub your dog’s belly.  All proven stress-relievers.

9. Peace is for the graveyard – don’t be impatient: we all get there eventually.  Meanwhile, enjoy the thrill ride.

10. Don’t EVER blame anything on PMS (except the murder of your first husband).

11. Value is subjective, and time can be traded for money. Don’t let people talk you into status purchases.  Bargain shop if it's worth it to you, don't feel guilty about it if your time has more value. It’s your money - you decide how to spend it.

12. Old friends become more precious as time goes on. Make room for them in your life.

13. Learn how to drive a stick shift. 

14. Once a year, pick one big thing that absolutely terrifies you. Then do it.

15. Always make room in your budget for luxuries.  Nothing makes you feel poorer than doing without things that bring you joy.

16. Don’t whine.  If you feel sorry for yourself, remember there’s always someone worse off than you.  Then go out and fix whatever’s wrong with your life.

17. Improvise!  Life gets boring very quickly if you do things the usual way – look for the creative solution.

18. Don’t take your man for granted. Men aren’t verbal. He might forget to say he loves you, but he shows you each day in the things he does for you.  Let him know how much you appreciate him. Preferably in the kitchen or the bedroom.  With enthusiasm.

19. Always do your duty.  By that I mean what you think is right, not what others tell you is right.  You owe it to yourself to do the right thing.  You have no such obligation to others - they can't make that decision for you, nor can they assume your responsibility.

20. Don't compare yourself to other people - it's a waste of time. Go ahead and aim for the moon -- but be gentle with yourself.  Life has a lot of speedbumps.

21. Respect yourself. People take you at your own valuation.  By your demeanor, you provide subtle clues as to how you expect to be treated.

22. Respect others: people’s feelings matter.  Treat them with dignity, kindness, and consideration, and they will generally return the favor.

23. If you're feeling lonely, reach out to someone else.

24. If someone hurts you, don't take it personally. It generally says more about them than it does about you.

25. Never stop learning until the day you die.

26. Sometimes words fail us. Try just reaching out and touching someone.* 

27. Meetings are a necessary evil and should be run with brutal efficiency - stick to the agenda, establish the ground rules up front, and never let prima donnas derail the process.

28. Don't ever try to fix a computer or a weed-whacker when you're in a bad mood - it's bad juju.

29. Surprise him. Make every day an adventure and you'll never be bored.

30. Count your blessings every day.  Happiness lies, not in having what you want, but in wanting what you have.

*use good judgement here, people... do not call me from your jail cell...

Feel free to add your own.  Pile On, you are NOT free to add your own :)

- Cassandra