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September 16, 2004

Topless Golf? Bring It On

Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be
The last of life
For which the first was made

My Dad always says "Growing old is not for sissies". It now appears it may not be for the faint of heart either:

Naked golf: It's not an Olympic sport yet, but a tabloid TV show may be bringing more publicity to the notion than some area golf courses and adult clubs would like. "Inside Edition" yesterday showed blurry images of topless female caddies and beer servers wandering the links at the Virginia National Golf Club near Leesburg and the Hope Valley Golf Course in Mount Airy, Md.
Shooting footage from a helicopter, the show didn't expose any naked duffers, but did get video of "naked strippers serving booze to golfers," it announced in a press release. Turns out that both courses happened to be hosting events on Aug. 16 featuring topless talent.

Strangely, Mt. Airy is right down the road from me, and Leesburg is where my step father-in-law hides out when he's not stalking the links. He's an avid golfer who (even in his mid-70's) regularly wins golf tournaments. I plan to call him and suss out just exactly what his involvement is in this sordid affair.

I thought I was leaving this sort of hedonistic madness behind when I left Southern California. The truly scary thing is that I was just fixing to bring the left-handed golf clubs out of the closet and take lessons. My friend Maureen and I vowed to get out of the office and hit the links as soon as I got back to the East Coast.

Now I'm wondering whether I'll need plastic surgery first. Good nightshirt.

- Cassandra

September 16, 2004 at 10:38 AM | Permalink


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Ben Wright was fired as a golf commentator at C...BS Sports several jeers back, for claiming in a news interview that "Huge tracts of land" got in the way of the woman's golf swing.

And that 95% of women golfers are lesbians.

The golf swing, I can buy.

The women golfers are lesbians, well, I'll just have to do an in-depth, probing, detailed, investigative report on this, possibly involving hours and hours of research on the internet. I will leave no stone unturned, no ball unwashed, no drive uninspected.

Nothing left to the imagination.

Posted by: purple raider at Sep 16, 2004 11:43:50 AM

Cass, remember to take plenty of sunscreen, it gets hot out there, and in a five hour round of golf you could be exposing your delicate skin to way too much harmful UV radiation.

Posted by: Pile On® at Sep 16, 2004 11:49:36 AM

Proper sunscreen and an appropriate light tan will protect your skin well. Also, a hat is useful and does not count as clothing. One never has trouble finding a place to golf in southern Florida, though unicycling keeps you in better shape.

Posted by: man riding a unicycle naked at Sep 16, 2004 1:09:04 PM

MRUN wrote: "One never has trouble finding a place to golf in southern Florida"

Although these days the golf courses may have a few additional water hazards.

Posted by: purple raider at Sep 16, 2004 2:24:01 PM

HOT STUFF here reporting for duty.


Posted by: Not Gonna Say at Sep 16, 2004 2:26:23 PM

I've heard of such things happening in NY as some sort of charity event.... Hmm perhaps I should take up golf.

Posted by: LarryConley at Sep 16, 2004 7:00:02 PM