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August 26, 2004

Kerry's Daughter

Stream of Consciousness Blogging...

I'm listening to Kerry's daughter (Vanessa) on the radio... What an airhead. How did this chica get into Harvard? Actually scratch that thought - I had friends who got into Harvard... for that matter, I got into an Ivy League school so that obviously doesn't mean anything. "Entertaining Ben Affleck with Sexy Yoga Poses???" Oh, that's just a tabloid story. She's not flexible - she can't even touch her toes and she's not about to tell us who she's canoodling with. Thank God she has some standards.

"[paraphrase of several ridiculous quotes that made my head explode...] William Rood proves everything the Swift Vets said is all lies"

[I go upstairs to ingest copious amounts of alcohol]

On Tuhrayzuh: "I would much rather have a woman who is articulate and invested (infested? congested?) in this country than a Stepford Wife"

"I thought the shove it comment...taken in context...was very appropriate...that reporter has been hounding this family for years"

"Secret Service are HOT"

- Cassandra

August 26, 2004 at 08:35 AM | Permalink

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Comments

Forgive me I am not up on the Kerry progeny, is this the same daughter that thought "Cannes" meant show your cannes through a sheer dress?

Posted by: Pile On® at Aug 26, 2004 10:24:48 AM

FUNNY!!!

Posted by: Tom_with_a_Dream at Aug 26, 2004 10:31:47 AM

Nope - that was Alexandra. This is the smart one :)

Posted by: Cassandra at Aug 26, 2004 10:43:36 AM

More from Vanessa:(empasis added) (click name for link to full interview...if you can stand it)

Yago: Your dad is a certified war hero. Does he ever tell you what it was like?

Kerry: He told me the story of what happened when he won the Silver Star, but he never told me he won the Silver Star for it. That wasn't part of the story. ... He told me the story of being attacked in this tiny canal and of having to basically ... he had no choice but turning his boat in to shore and going after the enemy point-blank. He said the enemy popped up with — I'm sorry, I don't know my weapons very well — you know, a bazooka or whatever it was on his shoulder and stared at him straight in the face. Dad said they had this sort of face-off, if you will. And he stopped. And I said, "Well, what happened?" And I was about 7, and he said, "Oh, the guy dropped it and ran away." ... It wasn't until two or three years ago that I actually learned that in the end he actually did kill someone. But that was a choice that he faced: to kill or be killed. And I think that that was what upset him and has hurt him the most about that war and now this war, too, is that that decision is so brutal and it's no-win. So he never told me why he won that medal, he just told me the story. And you know, he did tell me that he did have three Purple Hearts, 'cause I found them and was like, "What are these?" And he said, "Purple Hearts." "How did you get them?" He said, "I was shot." And you're sitting there, [thinking,] "What, he was shot?" He was shot three times, and when you think about that it's pretty bad, but obviously it's bad ... that's ... I'm sorry, I'm getting distracted because what I'm thinking now is about how my dad, you know, I'm thinking now about people who face [being shot] in inner cities. I'm thinking about the fact that that's very real in this country, that's what this is all about. Just, you know, so that nobody has to deal with that. ... I'm sorry I'm getting emotional on you, but it's hard, it's personal. You asked me a personal question.

spd rdr: You're frickin' kidding me, right?

Kerry: No, dude, it was like really surreal.

spd rdr: I'm gonna be ill.

Posted by: spd rdr at Aug 26, 2004 10:45:38 AM

Oops!

Posted by: spd rdr at Aug 26, 2004 10:46:13 AM

Oh...my...God. I so totally have to make fun of that interview.

I may have to violate my longstanding policy of not making fun of the Kerry daughters.

I got 3 sentences into that and almost hurled.

I love the Rock the Vote thing too. I was reading a Weekly Standard article that made fun of that. The author was going on about how he was just waiting to see what America's Youth would be urged to do to the vote next... would it be Defenestrate the Vote, or Guillotine the Vote, or even Garrotte the Vote?

Posted by: Cassandra at Aug 26, 2004 10:56:43 AM

Cass,

Male readership aside, I'm glad I went to you first. Somewhere along the line I sensed that there was a line, although I couldn't have known whose line it was (or maybe I should have from the typepad url...)

Anyway, the cow comment may have been a little excessive, but my wife agrees with you regarding a certain scarf-wearing singer-actor.
But the "If you don't have it why flaunt it" was great!

Back to work...

Posted by: Tom_with_a_Dream at Aug 26, 2004 1:59:53 PM

Sorry, didn't catch the ESC in time...

Posted by: Tom_with_a_Dream at Aug 26, 2004 2:01:04 PM

'don't know my weapons very well?'

Can we say....'Moon Unit?' 'Valley Girl?'
Twit?

Posted by: La Femme Crickita at Aug 26, 2004 2:50:56 PM

He got the purple hearts for being shot? I thought they were for taking shrapnel.

Posted by: Liberal Larry at Aug 26, 2004 4:03:27 PM

He got the purple hearts for being shot? I thought they were for taking shrapnel.

Posted by: Liberal Larry at Aug 26, 2004 4:06:00 PM

Shrapnel = rice in the butt.

Posted by: Cassandra at Aug 26, 2004 4:34:02 PM

I will not make fun of the Kerry children's looks.

I will make fun of the Kerry children's intelligence.


Posted by: Purple Raider at Aug 26, 2004 4:39:06 PM

"rice in the butt?"

"Looks" and "intelligence" and "make fun of..." in the same post.

Cass and spd rdr are in full snark mode. I wonder if I should add a few paper cuts to Kerry's fingers and rub them with lemon juice?

Posted by: La Femme Crickita at Aug 26, 2004 5:41:24 PM

spd's my main man :) He had me laughing so hard earlier I had to cover the mouthpiece on my phone. I have to learn not to come up here when I'm on the phone with clients...

Posted by: Cassandra at Aug 26, 2004 5:49:53 PM

Do you mean Senator Kerry (D-Vietnam)?

Posted by: Purple Raider at Aug 26, 2004 5:54:47 PM

Yes, I often sit around telling my son and daughters war stories. Don't all Dads?

As soon as I start saying, "I remember...," you would think the theme from Exodus had come on. When I decided to get war veteran plates, they were mad because everybody would think I was an old man. Well, if the shoe fits.

Posted by: RIslander at Aug 26, 2004 8:26:19 PM

I think I'd just as soon call the Kerry spawn for what she is, a dumb ___t.

There are a surprising number of ways to finish that spelling depending your the mood and imagination.

We infer, you decide.

Posted by: jim at Aug 27, 2004 12:41:35 PM

Summarizing:
"George Bush calls wet politicians with sunburned padded bras and shells."

Or their offspring.
Or not. We cut and paste, you decide.

Posted by: Don Brouhaha at Aug 27, 2004 1:01:07 PM